• We currently require 3 groups (for 11 players) and 2 carts

• We play the Lakeside then Heritage course combination

• In the carts are: Greg/Tampo and JoeB/Tony

• There is currently 1 playing spot available 

• One Pairs match has been arranged: Dom/Lindsay v Steve/Aussie

• We are playing Stableford for Club trophies

• It is the final round the Mad March competition

• One long drive and one nearest pin per grade this week due to low numbers

I rang the course this morning to cancel the 2 surplus groups and was told:

• Carts will only be made available on the day if the course is not (or does not become) saturated

• Refunds are only given if the course is closed due to lightning (tough luck apparently if it is closed for rain)

Let’s start with JK. Him and Joe played Fluff and I in a match and man right from the start he was nowhere! I’m not talking about his golf, I’m talking about what’s in his head or actually what’s not in his head! Now he is vacant at the best of times ,but some of the things he was coming up with, or not coming up with, had us other three looking at each other with raised eyebrows and wide eyes!

JK proceeded to tell us that he was practicing for retirement and that his vague comments and blank stares along with a wellness day ( that he gets payed for ) were all part of him getting prepared for retirement! FFS my wellness days are when I’m as crook as a sick dog and no pay!

With the weather being slightly warm last weekend the DAGS had seven carts booked out and when Wilbur went in to the pro shop to gather the keys they asked for his car keys as a bond. Reluctantly Wilbur handed over his keys and needed to collect all seven sets of keys and return them in one hit to the pro shop to receive his back in return. Only problem was Wilbur was in the second group and had to wait until the last group came in to get the seventh set of keys so he could get his and unlock his car 

And to rub a bit of salt into the wound, Joe ( who sat next to JK all day and must of caught a bit of JK’s vagueness ) left his clubs on the back of his cart and wandered in to have a beer. The service man got in the cart and drove off with clubs still attached and parked it in the garage. Wilbur being the guy he his walked down to the garage in 39 degree heat and retrieved said clubs. Good onya Me Ed

Mr Willcox had a birdie on the par five ninth ( Classic ) which I think is a sensational effort. When asked when was the last time he had a birdie on a par five  his response was “ therrty twooo yeearrs aguu. “   Well done Tony and you owe me FIVE DOLLARS!

As Captain it’s my duty to do the announcements ( in case you’re wondering JK! )   I’m going to do a Ronnie Corbett and digress. As the score sheet was handed to me by Joe ( and that’s what this segment is about ) JK asked me if I was going to do the announcements, I said “ yes I’m the captain “ he said “ yeah but are you going to do the announcements “ I said “ yes I’m the captain that’s what the captain does “ he just looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. Nowhere I’m telling you absolutely no where!  Anyway I can only read what’s written on the score sheet and when I got to least putts there were no names. Now I would say that’s  a mistake by the person doing the score sheet, Joe. There were a couple of other incorrect things but they were due to scorecard errors. Once the announcements were finally over, Joe professed that the score sheet was correct when he handed it over to me. I said “ it can’t be correct because it isn’t complete “ he said “ it is correct , I just forgot to write the names in “   What the! That’s a mistake in my book 

Those that are in carts tomorrow, apart from Joe and Tony might want to bring your push cart in case they say it’s to wet for motorised carts.

Winner was OJ with 38 points on a count back, count back, count back and runner up was Brad also 38 points.

Thanks to me for the prizes.